Mommy ninja

What the hell? I thought I had some time here to spell things out that I didn't want to say because I knew if I said it the kid would freak out. Words like park, ice cream, shower, bed time are spelled to the other parent so that they know the plan but the kid is kept in the dark in case you have something else going on or wish to tag team said child into going to bed. However the kid is smart now when you spell park he is all like "OMG PARK I WANNA GO TO THE PARK" hollering at the top of his lungs. Yes the kid can spell now and mommy is not happy.

 Now my mommy ninjaness has been reduced in skill slightly. Now I have to find new ways to be sneaky as shit. You know how I do that? Code words! When refering to things that children would really want to do or not do we use code words such as, "Dear could you take the kids to the thingy with the thingy ma bobs" hubby generally gets the idea and takes kids to the park. ice cream "brain freeze" bedtime has become "Hey its 8 its that time for the thing where we get peace and quiet." works like a charm. 

There are other ways to be a mommy ninja. Say if your child doesn't like vegtables or fruits hiding them in other foods such as pureeing squash and hiding it in mac n'cheese apples in bread there are many ways to mask the taste in other foods. 

My children have come to realize that mommy ninja has eyes in the back of her head. This is perhaps the most useful tool a mother develops after having kids. The ability to see what your child is up to is one of my fave ninja abilities. My kids have a hard time getting away with things and usually by the looks on their faces I don't need eyes in the back of my head to know which one was is the guilty party. 

The mom has super hearing as well, cause I know when they are being quiet it means shit just got serious. Quiet children means they are doing something they know they shouldn't be and are being quiet in an attempt to not draw my attention but in a house with two children quiet is generally not a good thing and therefore draws mommies attention rather quickly. Shhh though don't tell my kids this or they will wise up and be loud again and then I will lose another momma ninja ability! 

All in all I think Mommy ninja develop when the child is born it is a genetic trait that is activated when a child is born you just have to know how to tap into it.