Ah Bipolar Disorder, how wonderful would my life be if I didn't have it. Bi Polar disorder is characterized as periods of depression interspersed with periods of Mania.
So what is a day like for a person with Bi-polar well that all depends there are two types of Bipolar disorder I could go into full detail about that but I am not going to. On days that I am depressed there seems to be different levels to my depression. There are days I can function do what I need to do but I just can't find any joy in anything. There are days that it is excruciatingly hard to get out of bed because my body just doesn't want to move. This is where my problems with alcohol come in these are the days I want a drink so bad because I want the pain to stop.
On the days I am Manic watch the hell out. I am energized, wired, almost hyper. I talk fast, I move quickly, I run around trying to get everything done. Cook, clean, run around, do my errands I have been putting off, go out with the kids. I am euphoric almost happy. I don't sleep, I hardly eat and sometimes have to be reminded to eat but I am really not hungry.
So how does this effect my kids?
Well, my kids see me in my ups and downs and I think sometimes it makes them feel a little confused they never know which mood mommy will be in on any given day.
It can be confusing for them and they don't always understand. Sometimes I think that they think it's their fault that mommy is having a hard time. It's not of course but, as they are so young they don't understand. I have tried to reassure them that it's not their fault that mommy just has bad days.
How does this affect my marriage?
Well it makes things harder as sometimes my husband doesn't understand that same days are just bad for me and I need to take it easy. I get accused of not caring and not wanting to spend time with him. Sex is few and far between because I just have no interest. This makes him frustrated. He doesn't know which mood I will be in either. Sometimes I am angry and it gets directed at him. Tempers wear thin between us both and it leads to fighting.
Life isn't easy when you have Bi Polar disorder the ups and the downs can leave those around you with whip lash. With a little patients and understanding from those around you it can be a little easier. Relationships however are tested and strained when those around you don't understand or want you to be different.
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