While they are young

See I have always wanted to really blog but every time I get started it gets put on the back burner maybe this time I will have better luck.

Ah what to write about, see I am a mom, a mom of two. I love my children, I love my husband. There is a saying that love conquers all. I for one think its bull shit. Love doesn't conquer poverty and barely making ends meet so that your kids can eat. Love doesn't conquer psychological issues. I know I have a lot of baggage I never said I didn't the husband was fully aware of the baggage I carried when we got married but I wasn't aware of how becoming a mom could drive me into this crazy ass mentality.

See I have a daughter, as a woman who has been abused, mentally, physically, sexually, the thought of having a daughter scared the hell outta me. All the while I was pregnant with my daughter I made myself sick with worry. How can I protect and innocent little girl when I couldn't even protect myself? There are all the thoughts that have made me such a suspicious paranoid psycho, though I hardly express these thoughts allowed it all goes back to trying to protect my daughter form what some men are capable of.

Everyone says I am strong, the support group I attend tells me that because of what I have been through I will know how to protect her but I see danger everywhere which is never good because if we see the danger everywhere we wont actually see the real danger sneaking up behind us. I can't win it's crazy isn't it?

All mothers want to do is protect their children from danger right? We want to take care of the life that we bring into this world, protect them and shelter them from the disgusting excuses of human life, but they are every where and sometimes you would never guess what these excuse for human life are capable of because they seem so "normal."

Mothers, we teach our daughters that they need to be careful, that not all men are nice guys, that some will hurt you. We try to teach them how to fight, how to dress so as not to be provocative. We try and teach them not to go out at night alone or take drinks from strangers. However what are we really teaching them? To be as paranoid and jaded as we are? We teach our sons that aggression is okay it's part of being a male. Boys get away with more shit then girls do but the truth is we need to be teaching them how to treat a woman and how to show her respect and kindness. I look at my son and he is a sweet little boy but at the same time I keep wondering what he will be capable of when he is older so I start now at a young age and I am going to teach him that no means no that he is never to raise his hand to a woman and that is doesn't matter what she wears she is NEVER asking to be raped.